Framing Tragedy

When any of our children are first diagnosed with a disability we, as parents, are provided with ample advice, facial expressions, and literature that all indicate that this moment is only the beginning of the pathway to losing ourselves.

Messaging must be reframed.

There will be some losses.

Sure.

There are always losses in any pathway: an education, a career, a relocation, a marriage, a birth.

Yet, for many of us parents, a diagnosis is actually the beginning of us finding and becoming ourselves.

Our child’s diagnosis is not our tragedy.

Our child’s diagnosis may be part of our household comedy.

Our child’s diagnosis may be part of our household drama,

in the same way that a unique trait of your family member’s finds it’s way into the script of your lives.

For many of us parents, what becomes of us after our children’s diagnosis, if supported by the right resources and sometimes even without, is a voice satisfied by joy and fortune.

My son’s diagnosis is not a loss of mine.

My son’s diagnosis is not a loss of my family’s.

No.

It was a gain.

It was a new trajectory.

Not a tragedy.